What to Do When Sleep Training Isn’t Working

You’re sleep-deprived, your baby is sleep-deprived, and what you’ve been doing doesn’t feel like a long-term solution. You’ve heard miracle stories of parents sleep-training their babies and achieving better sleep in just a few days. You decide to give it a go, but as the days pass, you begin to wonder: Is this really working? Should I keep going or call it quits?

If you’re grappling with these questions, know that you’re not alone. This guide will help you understand what progress should look like during sleep training, how to recognize when it’s time to adjust your approach, and what other factors might be at play. Together, we’ll explore developmental readiness, evaluate methods, and consider some less common contributors to sleep challenges.

What Progress Should Look Like

When using a sleep training method that involves some level of crying or protest, you should typically see noticeable progress within 3-5 days. These “wins” might include:

• Your baby begins to fall asleep independently.

• Falling asleep happens faster.

• Night stretches lengthen.

• Baby briefly wakes at night but puts themselves back to sleep.

• Naps extend beyond their usual duration.

While you likely won’t see all these changes at once, some indication of progress should emerge. By around day 14, most babies are considered “sleep trained,” meaning they can fall asleep with little to no fussing about 90-95% of the time within 15 minutes. Nap consistency typically follows a few weeks later.

If you’re using a no-cry or gradual approach, progress can be harder to quantify and may take longer. With the right schedule and supportive measures in place, your baby should appear well-rested and content during the day within six weeks. Achieving independent sleep may take additional time, often weeks to months.

Remember, progress isn’t linear. It’s normal to take two steps forward and one step back. Some nights might feel like regressions, but what matters is the overall trend toward better sleep. Be patient and persistent; change takes time.

If you’re not seeing these improvements, it’s time to reassess.

Developmental Readiness and Evaluating Your Approach

Timing Matters

The minimum age for formal sleep training is 4 months (16 weeks), but some babies aren’t developmentally ready until closer to 6 months. Signs of readiness include:

• Improved ability to self-soothe (e.g., calming faster with your help).

• A reduction in prolonged crying spells.

• Tolerance for brief discomfort (e.g., diaper changes or getting dressed).

• An overall content demeanor during the day.

Additionally, avoid starting sleep training during illness, teething, or major life transitions like a move or vacation. Setting yourself and your baby up for success means choosing the right time.

Matching Your Approach to Your Baby

Every baby is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach to sleep training rarely works. If a modified cry-it-out method isn’t yielding results, your baby may need a different strategy. For instance:

• Sensitive babies may benefit from shorter crying intervals and more hands-on reassurance.

• Babies who find check-ins disruptive might do better with fewer interruptions.

• Medical conditions like reflux could require adaptations to keep your baby comfortable.

Sometimes, your preferred method might not align with your baby’s needs. Gradual approaches can work wonders for some but may frustrate others. Similarly, allowing more space might suit a baby who becomes overstimulated by frequent interventions.

The Role of Consistency

Consistency doesn’t mean rigidity. Instead, it involves:

• Following an age-appropriate schedule tailored to your baby.

• Sticking to predictable nap and bedtime routines.

• Responding to night wakings in a consistent manner.

Babies thrive on routine, which helps them feel secure and learn what to expect. Give any approach enough time to determine its effectiveness, as it often takes several nights to identify trends.

Other Factors to Consider

If you’ve ensured developmental readiness, chosen a consistent approach, and still aren’t seeing progress, here are other areas to explore:

Medical Factors

• Vitamin Deficiencies: Low levels of magnesium, iron, or vitamin D can impact sleep. Pediatricians often check iron levels at 9-12 months; consider requesting tests for other nutrients as well.

• Sleep Disorders: Symptoms like snoring, open-mouth breathing, enlarged tonsils, or restless sleep could indicate conditions like sleep apnea. A pediatrician or dentist may recommend further testing or a sleep specialist referral.

• Feeding Issues: Tongue or lip ties might interfere with full feeds, leading to more night wakings. Indicators include poor latch, nipple pain, clicking sounds during feeding, or milk dribbling out. These ties can also affect vagus nerve function, which plays a role in relaxation and digestion.

• Digestive Discomfort: Signs of reflux include arching the back, discomfort after feeding, or difficulty sleeping on their back. Excessive gas or food intolerances may also disrupt sleep. Consider consulting a pediatrician or feeding specialist to explore potential solutions.

• Chronic Ear Infections: These can make lying flat uncomfortable, causing frequent wake-ups. Look for symptoms like pulling at the ears or excessive fussiness.

Neurodivergence

Some babies with neurodivergent traits (e.g., ADHD, sensory processing disorder, or autism) may face challenges self-regulating and initiating sleep. If you notice developmental delays, sensory sensitivities, or difficulty being soothed, consult your pediatrician or an early intervention specialist. Early identification and support can make a significant difference.

Sensory Needs

High sensory-needs babies often require intentional efforts to meet their sensory thresholds. These sensory systems include:

• Proprioception: This sense helps the body understand its position in space. Activities to support it include:

  • Full-body massage.

  • Deep squeezes or cross-body hugs.

  • Tummy time with resistance (e.g., feet against a wall).

  • Bicycle kicks or practicing standing.

• Vestibular System: This sense relates to balance and movement. Activities include:

  • Gentle bouncing on a yoga ball.

  • Swinging baby back and forth in your arms.

  • Using a baby swing (if age-appropriate).

Meeting sensory needs helps babies feel calm and regulated, which sets the stage for better sleep.

Finding Hope

All babies can learn to sleep better—though it may take longer or look different than you imagined. Avoid comparing your journey to others; every baby has unique needs and strengths. If something feels off, trust your instincts and seek support.

Pediatricians, sleep consultants, and specialists are here to help you troubleshoot and find a path forward. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Reach out for guidance when you need it. Sleep success might be closer than it feels right now, and when you uncover the root cause, the difference can be life-changing.

We’re here for you every step of the way. Book your consultation and let’s get you sleeping!