The Benefits of Great Sleep and How to Get There
The day my baby turned 14 months old, he started taking his first few, independent steps. This was so exciting! We knew he was ready, and we were there to support him as he learned. We knew he was going to enjoy the newfound freedom of walking so much.
However, learning to walk doesn’t come without many bonks and tripped-over curbs, along with Mama’s cuddles and kisses for reassurance. Learning to walk was a process: sometimes he would go back to crawling and want a break, and sometimes he just wanted me to let go of his hand so he could walk (nearly run) on his own. Over the course of the next two weeks or so, he gained so much confidence in his ability, and his little face had the cutest dimpled smile as he proudly toddled around. He has (nearly) mastered this new and life-changing skill, and I love seeing his independence and joy.
Much like learning to walk, helping our babies learn how to sleep better can be life-changing!
How do I help my baby learn to sleep?
Sleep learning, often referred to as sleep training, is the process of teaching your baby how to initiate sleep independently. When a baby knows how to go from awake to asleep on their own, they are able to move through sleep cycle transitions independently and get more consistent, restorative sleep. I like to use the term “sleep learning” rather than “sleep training” because it puts an emphasis on the learning part of the process. Just like learning to walk, learning to fall asleep independently takes practice!
Sleep learning also includes making sure baby is developmentally ready to learn the skill, optimizing baby’s sleep schedule to set the foundation for learning, and finding a consistent approach that works for baby (and parents!) to practice going to sleep independently.
Why should I sleep train/sleep learn?
Good sleep is so beneficial for both the baby and the caregiver. When a baby has the skills to reliably and consistently help themselves get the sleep they need, they blossom in all aspects of their development. Good sleep promotes physical, cognitive, social, and emotional development for baby.
Let’s dive into some of the research about sleep and development.
Physical and Cognitive Development (see Tham et al., 2017)
Babies need a lot of sleep. The National Sleep Foundation recommends 14-17 hours per day for newborns, which eventually decreases to 11-14 hours for 12-24 month olds. This particular study examined healthy, term-born infants and the relationship between the total amount of sleep and physical and cognitive development in infants.
The review found that:
There is a relationship between growth hormones and sleep in infants. When one system is regulated or dysregulated, it affects the other, suggesting that better quality sleep can positively affect infant growth.
The hormones that contribute to regulating an infant’s circadian rhythm are affected by the amount of time and quality of sleep.
There are several factors that can affect how a baby develops physically, such as birth weight and nutrition, but increased evidence suggests that quality infant sleep is related to better outcomes regarding weight gain and hormone release.
Better quality sleep is associated with better problem-solving skills, memory, and general cognitive development.
Infant brains experience marked change and increased neural connections during sleep.
Social and Emotional Development (see Lobo & Lunkenheimer, 2020)
All humans, whether infants or not, are happier, more social, and have a greater ability to self-regulate when they are well-rested. When both the child and caregiver are well-rested, they are more likely to experience a greater ability to co-regulate and form a secure attachment.
This study found that:
Self-regulation (a skill developed through co-regulation and practice) promotes social and emotional functioning throughout life.
Co-regulation throughout the day supports a child’s emotional and behavioral self-regulation.
Positive parent-child relationships are related to both the increased ability of the child to self-regulate and higher enjoyment of the parent-child relationship.
It can be difficult for caregivers to co-regulate with a child when they are struggling with sleep deprivation and in survival mode. Many parents worry that sleep training will negatively affect their attachment (understandably so!). Sleep training can actually be beneficial for attachment as both parent and child can benefit from having greater emotional capacity that comes from better sleep to connect during the day, co-regulate more successfully, and form their secure attachment through many interactions throughout the day.
Knowing that you can put your baby down and they can fall asleep and stay asleep on their own can bring peace and predictability that many parents desire and deserve.
Finding the Right Approach to Sleep Learning
Sleep learning can and should look different for every family and every baby. You might want to think about sleep learning if what you are doing to get the baby to sleep is no longer working for you. I don’t believe in “bad” habits, just habits that are no longer sustainable for you.
Some families prefer a more gradual approach and want to be more hands-on with helping their little one to master independent sleep initiation. Some families need or want their little ones to sleep independently ASAP and are okay with allowing for some more protest and space to get those skills faster. Some families walk more of a middle ground and are okay with some crying and protest but also want to do more check-ins.
Working with a consultant can be so beneficial when you are trying to find the sleep learning approach that works best for you and your baby. There are so many opinions on sleep training, and it can be confusing to sort through all of the contradictory advice. Having an expert in your corner to collaborate with can help you feel confident in finding and implementing the best approach for you and your baby.
Let’s get you sleeping!
https://thebabysleephaven.as.me/
Notes
Sleep learning should only be done when babies are developmentally ready (at least four months old adjusted) and baby’s pediatrician has been consulted.
References
Lobo, F. M., & Lunkenheimer, E. (2020). Understanding the parent-child coregulation patterns shaping child self-regulation. Developmental Psychology, 55(6), 1121-1134. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0000926
Tham, E. K. H., Schneider, N., & Broekman, B. F. P. (2017). Infant sleep and its relation with cognition and growth: A narrative review. Nature and Science of Sleep, 9, 135-149. https://doi.org/10.2147/NSS.S125992
